Iz the Unmentionable by Richard J. Dowling

Author:Richard J. Dowling [Dowling, Richard J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: CAPTIVE PRESS
Published: 2020-03-30T22:00:00+00:00

8

“Fair enough,” said Vurt. “Second option it is.” He raised his cannon.

Seff stopped shuffling. “What are you going to tell Iz?”

“Iz?”

“Iz the Unmentionable.”

“Pardon?”

“After you kill two of his most trusted operatives and steal one of his shuttles, what are you going to tell Iz the Unmentionable, Bringer of Doom?”

Vurt looked around in confusion.

Gorix stepped forward. “Who’s this Iz?”

“You’ve never heard of Iz the Unmentionable? Bringer of Doom? Slayer of the Five Worlds?”

The pirates looked at each other and shrugged. “Should we have?” said Vurt.

“Are you new in this sector?”

“Well, the Benevolent Friends are branching out, see? So, in that sense, yes, I guess you could say we are somewhat new to this neck of the woods.”

Gorix raised a finger, “But the Benevolent Friends have a wealth of experience in pirating.”

“Oh, yes,” agreed Vurt. “Decades of plundering. Just not in the Laximeer system.”

Seff put an elbow on the table and leaned her chin on her palm. “So, you didn’t clear this with Iz the Unmentionable, Bringer of Doom, Slayer of the Five Worlds and Eternal Nemesis of the Foolish?”

“Not as such. No. But we’re the Benevolent Friends! We do what we fupping like, don’t we Gorix?”

Gorix looked down at the floor. “Well, that depends Vurt. Maybe you should have cleared things with this Iz.”

“Now, look here Gorix. Don’t you try and pin this on me. We both made the decision. Pirate democracy, remember?”

Seff said, “Didn’t you see the markings on our ship?”

“Markings?”

“On the hull.”

Gorix smiled. “Ah, the space graffiti”

“It’s the symbol of Iz the Unmentionable, Bringer of Doom, Slayer of the Five Worlds, Eternal Nemesis of the Foolish and Scourge of Unlicensed Pirates.”

Vurt pulled at the hair on the left side of his head. “Aargh! If you say that name one more time I’m going to fupping explode.”

Gorix patted his companion on the back. “There, there, Vurt. Take it easy. Remember what the med-computer said. You’ve got to keep your stress under control.”

“I know, Gorix. But it’s these fupping amateurs. They don’t know how to be boarded and spaced like proper victims. And all this stuff about Iz the Unforgiving. It’s ridiculous.”

“Iz the Unmentionable,” Seff corrected. “Though you’re right. He’s not very forgiving. In fact, it’s referenced in one of his titles. Number 52, I think. Anyway, my point is, he will kill both of you. And everyone you know. And everyone they know. Have you heard of the Vjang?”

“No.”

“There you go. They’re dead. The whole planet. Just because one of them commented that Iz had a funny name.”

Vurt’s human side went red. “That’s enough! You’re making this up. There is no Iz the Unmentionable.”

Seff leaned back in her chair and folded her arms behind her head. “Check with your boss if you don’t believe me.”

Gorix nodded his head. “That seems like a good idea. We could do that.”

“No, it isn’t,” snapped Vurt. “Send a message through the Node about how we’re trying to steal a shuttle craft? The space police will be here before we could sign off. Plus. Do

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